What It’s Like To Live With An Addiction To Hydrocodone?

signs of codependency

I wish I could say that I had the time of my life when I used hydrocodone. I would love to tell you that it made all my problems go away, but it hurt me more than it helped me. At the start of my addiction, it did make things better. I could relax and not feel the stressors of the day. It helped with the reoccurring pain in my head from an automobile accident that damaged disks in my neck. It was like a “miracle pill” at first. However, it wasn’t soon until the thing that once made me so happy turned around and nearly destroyed my life.

For those who don’t know, hydrocodone is the generic version of Vicodin. It’s a widely used medication for moderate pain. I was in a car accident. I was on a major interstate driving nearly 70 miles per hour when a car slammed into me from behind. My neck and back were damaged, and I spend two months on bed rest. After having two rods put into my back, the pain became unbearable. I thought surgery would fix my issues, but the operation only made it worse.

Addition Can Happen to Anyone

I was a business professional with a great job and a family. I would have never thought that one day I would be a drug addict. I grew up in an affluent household, and I had a college education. I thought drug addiction didn’t happen to people like me, but I soon realized that drugs don’t care how much money you make or your social status. They destroy everyone. I justified my need because I was sick. I had surgery and was recovering. The means couldn’t justify the behavior. Soon even I got tired of the excuses.

Regulations have tightened on controlled substances, and I built up a tolerance to this medication rather quickly. One pill turned into two, and two turned into a handful. I just needed to kill the pain. I started asking friends if they had any painkillers in their medicine cabinet. It seemed like my refills didn’t come soon enough. A random drug screen at the doctor’s office showed abnormally high levels of hydrocodone in my urine. He cut off my supply and urged me to seek immediate help. Without a refill, I wouldn’t be able to function. At this point, I became desperate.

Turning To The Streets For Help

There was a man that lived near my office that most people called the drug dealer. I never dreamed I would be in his house begging for something to stop the pain. I was covered in sweat and shaking with anxiety. He hooked me up. When he couldn’t get me hydrocodone, I would take whatever he could get his hands on for me.

At no point did it occur to me that I had a three-year-old daughter or a wife of 27 years waiting for me at home. Thus, my relationships suffered. What if I didn’t make it home? The pain and addiction ruled my life. I never thought about my reputation in the community because I had run out of options.

No job could support my habit. The money ran out, and I charged up all our credit cards with cash advances. My paycheck went from my hand to my local drug dealer. One night, I went to my usual spot to get my fix. I couldn’t wait to pop my pill. I don’t know why I am even alive to tell you this, but that was the night that everything changed. I didn’t just get hydrocodone.

Something else was mixed into my drugs. I remember staggering to the car and thinking I was going to die. In my hallucinations, I kept seeing my little girl reaching for me, but I couldn’t’ touch her. She was laughing and calling for “Daddy,” but I was 100 miles away. I must have slipped into unconsciousness because the next thing I remember I was in the hospital.

At Rock Bottom

I was in bad shape mentally and physically, and I didn’t want to live anymore. My loving wife was by my side, and I wondered what I ever did to deserve her support. I was found by someone passing by who thought I was dead. They called the squad and stayed with me till help came. I was robbed, beaten, and lying next to my car with my clothes torn and bloody. I was barely alive.

Due to my medical condition, I was once again given more pain medications. However, once I healed, I went straight to a rehab facility. My wife made a phone call that changed my life. She spoke with someone at a Florida rehab that knew exactly what we were going through. Arrangements were made for me to get help the next day. It was the best phone call I ever made. It saved my life!

Reaching Out For Help

I’ve been clean for over five years. The horrible pain that I caused myself and others is a distant memory. However, I am careful about what I put into my body and to not let stress get the best of me. I was under the assumption that if my doctor prescribed it, then it was safe. These are controlled substances for a reason, and I was one who couldn’t control it.

I know how you feel and I’ve been where you walk. There is someone there who can help you start your journey toward sobriety. The worst thing you can do is to ignore the obvious. Your problem will get so out of hand that it could cost your life. Please, whatever you do, don’t wait until it’s too late. Call 866-802-6848 to speak to one of our representatives. Help is available 24 hours a day, and seven days a week. You have nothing to lose!