At the end of the day, nobody wants to be entirely alone in this world. Some people might be more introverted and prefer a state of isolation, but even those people still crave companionship to some degree. It just ties into our primal nature and genetic makeup as human beings. We want help. We want love. We want friendship and compassion. We want somebody to understand. However, in that same breath, we can’t really be there for somebody else if we can’t be there for ourselves. All this loving energy has to come in time throughout recovery, not in a rehab romance conjured overnight.
Most addicts and alcoholics abused substances for years and eventually wound up lying in the gutter. Our pockets are always emptied, we’ve stolen everything we could- not even a crumb left for a mouse, and mentally and physically we are exhausted without the where with all to realize it. When we were using, most relationships weren’t even a serious thing. How could we tend to the company of another if the chemicals always came before anybody or anything? Some of us managed to struggle through and half-ass a relationship or two with a significant other, but they never could amount to much without us seeking to fix ourselves.
Patience Young Grasshopper
Eventually, there comes a day when those of us who are lucky enough to enter a detox facility and become ready to turn our lives around. As far as we’ve been concerned, the world has been on pause while we were adjusting to this new life. There are places to go and people to see. We have so much intimacy to catch up on with all these new exuberating feelings we’re not used to. As the clichés go- slow and steady to win the race. Some things including rehab romances are taboo and personal relations will just need to wait. It would be a terrible idea to do anything rash while these early phases of recovery remain fragile.
Recovery launches us into life with a jump, skip and a hop as we join back in the races. No part of these races, however, is ready for the dating game- including the mingling, fraternizing, and flirting that surrounds the idea. Rehab romances are troublesome because of the distraction from the big picture. It’s more than advised to take baby steps and ease yourself into this new role of being the new you.
Trouble Seeking Trouble
Recovery from alcoholic thinking has the power to promise things beyond any addict’s wildest dreams. The 12 steps and all the anonymous programs are a saving grace for millions. However, when entering a rehab of sorts, there are a number of things that can ruin this newfangled path we’ve manifested. Of those things, rehab romances are at the top of that list that can potentially ruin any momentum. A few of the reasons rehab romance is an awful idea in early sobriety are:
- It can Provide a False Sense of Security
- So much is Uncertain in Early Sobriety
- Rehab Romance Distracts from Introspection
- Unhealthy Thinking on Two Counts is Worse than One
- Easy for Co-Dependency to Arise
- Increases the Likelihood of Relapse for Both
- Love is a Drug that becomes Abused
- Unstable Emotions in Rehab/Early Recovery
- Possibilities of an STD (Prone to addicts/alcoholics in early recovery)
- Our Heads are Usually Not Clear Enough Yet to Determine What’s Irrational/Rational
Let’s take a good look at reality. Once we decide we fancy somebody and begin a bond with this person, whatever the manner, we’re taking a leap of faith in sorts. We never can predict exactly who this person really is until they’ve shown a few of their true colors. In some cases, there may be this Romeo and Juliet scenario where the planets align and the stars shine in their favor, but in most cases, this rehab romance concept becomes our worst nightmare.
Everybody finds themselves in some relationship gone sour at some point in their lives. That’s why there’s dating because every slipper won’t fit Cinderella. 9 times out of 10 with a rehab romance, we don’t really realize how toxic and hurtful these relationships can or will be. In early sobriety, our rationale is still very much skewed whether we like to see it or now. The drugs and alcohol are out of our bodies but our minds take much longer to rejuvenate. Playing with these waters while in treatment can play with our heads even more.
If you think about it, just because the substances are taken away doesn’t mean that all the problems that got us here are fixed. Yes, substances are the root to all the debauchery, but the problems come from within us. This means that the solution comes from within too. It is not until we can learn to be introspective and get to know ourselves that we should even think about focusing on another individual.
Needs vs. Wants
Many factors play along with trying to understand our newfound emotions and abstaining from a rehab romance. Think about the way we’ve handled ourselves over the course of our using and how we present ourselves now. All it takes is for one nasty relationship to occur and everything can roll downhill fast. Remember nobody wants to be alone but we have to practice setting our boundaries for the future, if not for ourselves then for the sake of others.
Taking a Look in the Mirror
Recovering from chemical dependency takes a lot of personal growth but it will help be able to truly feel again. It takes getting clean and sober before our senses and true happiness come back to us and we can venture into intimate relationships with others. A clean mind and body can open up a world of possibilities. If you or a loved one is struggling with chemical dependency and are ready for help, please call 888-481-1993 or visit www.coastaldetox.com. We are ready to give you any suggestions possible and set you or your loved one on a path that we can all be proud of.